Document: All > Shakespeare > Histories > King Henry IV, part II > Act V, scene III
[Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, SILENCE, DAVY, BARDOLPH,
and the Page]
SHALLOW: Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour,
we will eat a last year's pippin of my own graffing,
with a dish of caraways, and so forth: come,
cousin Silence: and then to bed.
FALSTAFF: 'Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and a rich.
SHALLOW: Barren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all,
Sir John: marry, good air. Spread, Davy; spread,
Davy; well said, Davy.
FALSTAFF: This Davy serves you for good uses; he is your
serving-man and your husband.
SHALLOW: A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet,
Sir John: by the mass, I have drunk too much sack
at supper: a good varlet. Now sit down, now sit
down: come, cousin.
SILENCE: Ah, sirrah! quoth-a, we shall
Do nothing but eat, and make good cheer,
And praise God for the merry year;
When flesh is cheap and females dear,
And lusty lads roam here and there
And ever among so merrily.
FALSTAFF: There's a merry heart! Good Master Silence, I'll
give you a health for that anon.
SHALLOW: Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.
DAVY: Sweet sir, sit; I'll be with you anon. most sweet
sir, sit. Master page, good master page, sit.
Proface! What you want in meat, we'll have in drink:
but you must bear; the heart's all.
SHALLOW: Be merry, Master Bardolph; and, my little soldier
there, be merry.
SILENCE: Be merry, be merry, my wife has all;
For women are shrews, both short and tall:
'Tis merry in hall when beards wag all,
And welcome merry Shrove-tide.
Be merry, be merry.
FALSTAFF: I did not think Master Silence had been a man of
SILENCE: Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.
DAVY: There's a dish of leather-coats for you.
DAVY: Your worship! I'll be with you straight.
A cup of wine, sir?
SILENCE: A cup of wine that's brisk and fine,
And drink unto the leman mine;
And a merry heart lives long-a.
FALSTAFF: Well said, Master Silence.
SILENCE: An we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet o' the night.
FALSTAFF: Health and long life to you, Master Silence.
SILENCE: Fill the cup, and let it come;
I'll pledge you a mile to the bottom.
SHALLOW: Honest Bardolph, welcome: if thou wantest any
thing, and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart.
Welcome, my little tiny thief.
[To the Page]
And welcome indeed too. I'll drink to Master
Bardolph, and to all the cavaleros about London.
DAVY: I hove to see London once ere I die.
BARDOLPH: An I might see you there, Davy,--
SHALLOW: By the mass, you'll crack a quart together, ha!
Will you not, Master Bardolph?
BARDOLPH: Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.
SHALLOW: By God's liggens, I thank thee: the knave will
stick by thee, I can assure thee that. A' will not
out; he is true bred.
BARDOLPH: And I'll stick by him, sir.
SHALLOW: Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing: be merry.
Look who's at door there, ho! who knocks?
FALSTAFF: Why, now you have done me right.
[To SILENCE, seeing him take off a bumper]
Do me right,
And dub me knight: Samingo.
Is't not so?
FALSTAFF: 'Tis so.
SILENCE: Is't so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.
DAVY: An't please your worship, there's one Pistol come
from the court with news.
FALSTAFF: From the court! let him come in.
How now, Pistol!
PISTOL: Sir John, God save you!
FALSTAFF: What wind blew you hither, Pistol?
PISTOL: Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet
knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.
SILENCE: By'r lady, I think a' be, but goodman Puff of Barson.
Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!
Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
And helter-skelter have I rode to thee,
And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
And golden times and happy news of price.
FALSTAFF: I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this world.
PISTOL: A foutre for the world and worldlings base!
I speak of Africa and golden joys.
FALSTAFF: O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
SILENCE: And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.
PISTOL: Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
And shall good news be baffled?
Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.
SILENCE: Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
PISTOL: Why then, lament therefore.
SHALLOW: Give me pardon, sir: if, sir, you come with news
from the court, I take it there's but two ways,
either to utter them, or to conceal them. I am,
sir, under the king, in some authority.
PISTOL: Under which king, Besonian? speak, or die.
SHALLOW: Under King Harry.
PISTOL: Harry the Fourth? or Fifth?
SHALLOW: Harry the Fourth.
PISTOL: A foutre for thine office!
Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king;
Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth:
When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.
FALSTAFF: What, is the old king dead?
PISTOL: As nail in door: the things I speak are just.
FALSTAFF: Away, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert
Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land,
'tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities.
BARDOLPH: O joyful day!
I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
PISTOL: What! I do bring good news.
FALSTAFF: Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my
Lord Shallow,--be what thou wilt; I am fortune's
steward--get on thy boots: we'll ride all night.
O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph!
Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal devise
something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master
Shallow: I know the young king is sick for me. Let
us take any man's horses; the laws of England are at
my commandment. Blessed are they that have been my
friends; and woe to my lord chief-justice!
PISTOL: Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
'Where is the life that late I led?' say they:
Why, here it is; welcome these pleasant days!
2 KING HENRY IV