Document:  All > Shakespeare > Comedies > The Tempest > Act II, scene II

	[Enter CALIBAN with a burden of wood. A noise of
	thunder heard]

CALIBAN: All the infections that the sun sucks up
	From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall and make him
	By inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear me
	And yet I needs must curse. But they'll nor pinch,
	Fright me with urchin--shows, pitch me i' the mire,
	Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the dark
	Out of my way, unless he bid 'em; but
	For every trifle are they set upon me;
	Sometime like apes that mow and chatter at me
	And after bite me, then like hedgehogs which
	Lie tumbling in my barefoot way and mount
	Their pricks at my footfall; sometime am I
	All wound with adders who with cloven tongues
	Do hiss me into madness.


		    Lo, now, lo!

	Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me
	For bringing wood in slowly. I'll fall flat;
	Perchance he will not mind me.

TRINCULO: Here's neither bush nor shrub, to bear off
	any weather at all, and another storm brewing;
	I hear it sing i' the wind: yond same black
	cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul
	bombard that would shed his liquor. If it
	should thunder as it did before, I know not
	where to hide my head: yond same cloud cannot
	choose but fall by pailfuls. What have we
	here? a man or a fish? dead or alive? A fish:
	he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish-
	like smell; a kind of not of the newest Poor-
	John. A strange fish! Were I in England now,
	as once I was, and had but this fish painted,
	not a holiday fool there but would give a piece
	of silver: there would this monster make a
	man; any strange beast there makes a man:
	when they will not give a doit to relieve a lame
	beggar, they will lazy out ten to see a dead
	Indian. Legged like a man and his fins like
	arms! Warm o' my troth! I do now let loose
	my opinion; hold it no longer: this is no fish,
	but an islander, that hath lately suffered by a


	Alas, the storm is come again! my best way is to
	creep under his gaberdine; there is no other
	shelter hereabouts: misery acquaints a man with
	strange bed-fellows. I will here shroud till the
	dregs of the storm be past.

	[Enter STEPHANO, singing: a bottle in his hand]

STEPHANO:    I shall no more to sea, to sea,
	Here shall I die ashore--

	This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man's
	funeral: well, here's my comfort. [Drinks]


	The master, the swabber, the boatswain and I,
	The gunner and his mate
	Loved Mall, Meg and Marian and Margery,
	But none of us cared for Kate;
	For she had a tongue with a tang,
	Would cry to a sailor, Go hang!
	She loved not the savour of tar nor of pitch,
	Yet a tailor might scratch her where'er she did itch:
	Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!

	This is a scurvy tune too: but here's my comfort.

CALIBAN: Do not torment me: Oh!

STEPHANO: What's the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put
	tricks upon's with savages and men of Ind, ha? I
	have not scaped drowning to be afeard now of your
	four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as
	ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground;
	and it shall be said so again while Stephano
	breathes at's nostrils.

CALIBAN: The spirit torments me; Oh!

STEPHANO: This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who
	hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the devil
	should he learn our language? I will give him some
	relief, if it be but for that. if I can recover him
	and keep him tame and get to Naples with him, he's a
	present for any emperor that ever trod on neat's leather.

CALIBAN: Do not torment me, prithee; I'll bring my wood home faster.

STEPHANO: He's in his fit now and does not talk after the
	wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if he have
	never drunk wine afore will go near to remove his
	fit. If I can recover him and keep him tame, I will
	not take too much for him; he shall pay for him that
	hath him, and that soundly.

CALIBAN: Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon, I
	know it by thy trembling: now Prosper works upon thee.

STEPHANO: Come on your ways; open your mouth; here is that
	which will give language to you, cat: open your
	mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you,
	and that soundly: you cannot tell who's your friend:
	open your chaps again.

TRINCULO: I should know that voice: it should be--but he is
	drowned; and these are devils: O defend me!

STEPHANO: Four legs and two voices: a most delicate monster!
	His forward voice now is to speak well of his
	friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches
	and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will
	recover him, I will help his ague. Come. Amen! I
	will pour some in thy other mouth.

TRINCULO: Stephano!

STEPHANO: Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy! This is
	a devil, and no monster: I will leave him; I have no
	long spoon.

TRINCULO: Stephano! If thou beest Stephano, touch me and
	speak to me: for I am Trinculo--be not afeard--thy
	good friend Trinculo.

STEPHANO: If thou beest Trinculo, come forth: I'll pull thee
	by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo's legs,
	these are they. Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How
	camest thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? can
	he vent Trinculos?

TRINCULO: I took him to be killed with a thunder-stroke. But
	art thou not drowned, Stephano? I hope now thou art
	not drowned. Is the storm overblown? I hid me
	under the dead moon-calf's gaberdine for fear of
	the storm. And art thou living, Stephano? O
	Stephano, two Neapolitans 'scaped!

STEPHANO: Prithee, do not turn me about; my stomach is not constant.

CALIBAN: [Aside]  These be fine things, an if they be
	not sprites.
	That's a brave god and bears celestial liquor.
	I will kneel to him.

STEPHANO: How didst thou 'scape? How camest thou hither?
	swear by this bottle how thou camest hither. I
	escaped upon a butt of sack which the sailors
	heaved o'erboard, by this bottle; which I made of
	the bark of a tree with mine own hands since I was
	cast ashore.

CALIBAN: I'll swear upon that bottle to be thy true subject;
	for the liquor is not earthly.

STEPHANO: Here; swear then how thou escapedst.

TRINCULO: Swum ashore. man, like a duck: I can swim like a
	duck, I'll be sworn.

STEPHANO: Here, kiss the book. Though thou canst swim like a
	duck, thou art made like a goose.

TRINCULO: O Stephano. hast any more of this?

STEPHANO: The whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by the
	sea-side where my wine is hid. How now, moon-calf!
	how does thine ague?

CALIBAN: Hast thou not dropp'd from heaven?

STEPHANO: Out o' the moon, I do assure thee: I was the man i'
	the moon when time was.

CALIBAN: I have seen thee in her and I do adore thee:
	My mistress show'd me thee and thy dog and thy bush.

STEPHANO: Come, swear to that; kiss the book: I will furnish
	it anon with new contents swear.

TRINCULO: By this good light, this is a very shallow monster!
	I afeard of him! A very weak monster! The man i'
	the moon! A most poor credulous monster! Well
	drawn, monster, in good sooth!

CALIBAN: I'll show thee every fertile inch o' th' island;
	And I will kiss thy foot: I prithee, be my god.

TRINCULO: By this light, a most perfidious and drunken
	monster! when 's god's asleep, he'll rob his bottle.

CALIBAN: I'll kiss thy foot; I'll swear myself thy subject.

STEPHANO: Come on then; down, and swear.

TRINCULO: I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed
	monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in my
	heart to beat him,--

STEPHANO: Come, kiss.

TRINCULO: But that the poor monster's in drink: an abominable monster!

CALIBAN: I'll show thee the best springs; I'll pluck thee berries;
	I'll fish for thee and get thee wood enough.
	A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!
	I'll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,
	Thou wondrous man.

TRINCULO: A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a
	Poor drunkard!

CALIBAN: I prithee, let me bring thee where crabs grow;
	And I with my long nails will dig thee pignuts;
	Show thee a jay's nest and instruct thee how
	To snare the nimble marmoset; I'll bring thee
	To clustering filberts and sometimes I'll get thee
	Young scamels from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?

STEPHANO: I prithee now, lead the way without any more
	talking. Trinculo, the king and all our company
	else being drowned, we will inherit here: here;
	bear my bottle: fellow Trinculo, we'll fill him by
	and by again.

CALIBAN: [Sings drunkenly]
	Farewell master; farewell, farewell!

TRINCULO: A howling monster: a drunken monster!

CALIBAN:    No more dams I'll make for fish
	Nor fetch in firing
	At requiring;
	Nor scrape trencher, nor wash dish
	'Ban, 'Ban, Cacaliban
	Has a new master: get a new man.

	Freedom, hey-day! hey-day, freedom! freedom,
	hey-day, freedom!

STEPHANO: O brave monster! Lead the way.



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