Document:  All > Shakespeare > Comedies > Merry Wives of Windsor > Act IV, scene I



	[Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and
	WILLIAM PAGE]

MISTRESS PAGE: Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou?

MISTRESS QUICKLY: Sure he is by this, or will be presently: but,
	truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing
	into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

MISTRESS PAGE: I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young
	man here to school. Look, where his master comes;
	'tis a playing-day, I see.

	[Enter SIR HUGH EVANS]

	How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day?

SIR HUGH EVANS: No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: Blessing of his heart!

MISTRESS PAGE: Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in
	the world at his book. I pray you, ask him some
	questions in his accidence.

SIR HUGH EVANS: Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.

MISTRESS PAGE: Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your
	master, be not afraid.

SIR HUGH EVANS: William, how many numbers is in nouns?

WILLIAM PAGE: Two.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: Truly, I thought there had been one number more,
	because they say, ''Od's nouns.'

SIR HUGH EVANS: Peace your tattlings! What is 'fair,' William?

WILLIAM PAGE: Pulcher.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure.

SIR HUGH EVANS: You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you peace.
	What is 'lapis,' William?

WILLIAM PAGE: A stone.

SIR HUGH EVANS: And what is 'a stone,' William?

WILLIAM PAGE: A pebble.

SIR HUGH EVANS: No, it is 'lapis:' I pray you, remember in your prain.

WILLIAM PAGE: Lapis.

SIR HUGH EVANS: That is a good William. What is he, William, that
	does lend articles?

WILLIAM PAGE: Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus
	declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.

SIR HUGH EVANS: Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark:
	genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?

WILLIAM PAGE: Accusativo, hinc.

SIR HUGH EVANS: I pray you, have your remembrance, child,
	accusative, hung, hang, hog.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: 'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

SIR HUGH EVANS: Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative
	case, William?

WILLIAM PAGE: O,--vocativo, O.

SIR HUGH EVANS: Remember, William; focative is caret.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: And that's a good root.

SIR HUGH EVANS: 'Oman, forbear.

MISTRESS PAGE: Peace!

SIR HUGH EVANS: What is your genitive case plural, William?

WILLIAM PAGE: Genitive case!

SIR HUGH EVANS: Ay.

WILLIAM PAGE: Genitive,--horum, harum, horum.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name
	her, child, if she be a whore.

SIR HUGH EVANS: For shame, 'oman.

MISTRESS QUICKLY: You do ill to teach the child such words: he
	teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do
	fast enough of themselves, and to call 'horum:' fie upon you!

SIR HUGH EVANS: 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no
	understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the
	genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as
	I would desires.

MISTRESS PAGE: Prithee, hold thy peace.

SIR HUGH EVANS: Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

WILLIAM PAGE: Forsooth, I have forgot.

SIR HUGH EVANS: It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your 'quies,'
	your 'quaes,' and your 'quods,' you must be
	preeches. Go your ways, and play; go.

MISTRESS PAGE: He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

SIR HUGH EVANS: He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.

MISTRESS PAGE: Adieu, good Sir Hugh.

	[Exit SIR HUGH EVANS]

	Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.

	[Exeunt]




	THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR






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