Document: All > Shakespeare > Comedies > Merry Wives of Windsor > Act IV, scene I
[Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and
MISTRESS PAGE: Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY: Sure he is by this, or will be presently: but,
truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing
into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.
MISTRESS PAGE: I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young
man here to school. Look, where his master comes;
'tis a playing-day, I see.
[Enter SIR HUGH EVANS]
How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day?
SIR HUGH EVANS: No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.
MISTRESS QUICKLY: Blessing of his heart!
MISTRESS PAGE: Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in
the world at his book. I pray you, ask him some
questions in his accidence.
SIR HUGH EVANS: Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.
MISTRESS PAGE: Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your
master, be not afraid.
SIR HUGH EVANS: William, how many numbers is in nouns?
WILLIAM PAGE: Two.
MISTRESS QUICKLY: Truly, I thought there had been one number more,
because they say, ''Od's nouns.'
SIR HUGH EVANS: Peace your tattlings! What is 'fair,' William?
WILLIAM PAGE: Pulcher.
MISTRESS QUICKLY: Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure.
SIR HUGH EVANS: You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you peace.
What is 'lapis,' William?
WILLIAM PAGE: A stone.
SIR HUGH EVANS: And what is 'a stone,' William?
WILLIAM PAGE: A pebble.
SIR HUGH EVANS: No, it is 'lapis:' I pray you, remember in your prain.
WILLIAM PAGE: Lapis.
SIR HUGH EVANS: That is a good William. What is he, William, that
does lend articles?
WILLIAM PAGE: Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus
declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.
SIR HUGH EVANS: Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark:
genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?
WILLIAM PAGE: Accusativo, hinc.
SIR HUGH EVANS: I pray you, have your remembrance, child,
accusative, hung, hang, hog.
MISTRESS QUICKLY: 'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.
SIR HUGH EVANS: Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative
WILLIAM PAGE: O,--vocativo, O.
SIR HUGH EVANS: Remember, William; focative is caret.
MISTRESS QUICKLY: And that's a good root.
SIR HUGH EVANS: 'Oman, forbear.
MISTRESS PAGE: Peace!
SIR HUGH EVANS: What is your genitive case plural, William?
WILLIAM PAGE: Genitive case!
SIR HUGH EVANS: Ay.
WILLIAM PAGE: Genitive,--horum, harum, horum.
MISTRESS QUICKLY: Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name
her, child, if she be a whore.
SIR HUGH EVANS: For shame, 'oman.
MISTRESS QUICKLY: You do ill to teach the child such words: he
teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do
fast enough of themselves, and to call 'horum:' fie upon you!
SIR HUGH EVANS: 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no
understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the
genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as
I would desires.
MISTRESS PAGE: Prithee, hold thy peace.
SIR HUGH EVANS: Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.
WILLIAM PAGE: Forsooth, I have forgot.
SIR HUGH EVANS: It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your 'quies,'
your 'quaes,' and your 'quods,' you must be
preeches. Go your ways, and play; go.
MISTRESS PAGE: He is a better scholar than I thought he was.
SIR HUGH EVANS: He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.
MISTRESS PAGE: Adieu, good Sir Hugh.
[Exit SIR HUGH EVANS]
Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.
THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR