Document: All > Shakespeare > Comedies > As You Like It > Act V, scene I
[Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY]
TOUCHSTONE: We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle Audrey.
AUDREY: Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old
TOUCHSTONE: A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile
Martext. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the
forest lays claim to you.
AUDREY: Ay, I know who 'tis; he hath no interest in me in
the world: here comes the man you mean.
TOUCHSTONE: It is meat and drink to me to see a clown: by my
troth, we that have good wits have much to answer
for; we shall be flouting; we cannot hold.
WILLIAM: Good even, Audrey.
AUDREY: God ye good even, William.
WILLIAM: And good even to you, sir.
TOUCHSTONE: Good even, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy
head; nay, prithee, be covered. How old are you, friend?
WILLIAM: Five and twenty, sir.
TOUCHSTONE: A ripe age. Is thy name William?
WILLIAM: William, sir.
TOUCHSTONE: A fair name. Wast born i' the forest here?
WILLIAM: Ay, sir, I thank God.
TOUCHSTONE: 'Thank God;' a good answer. Art rich?
WILLIAM: Faith, sir, so so.
TOUCHSTONE: 'So so' is good, very good, very excellent good; and
yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise?
WILLIAM: Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
TOUCHSTONE: Why, thou sayest well. I do now remember a saying,
'The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man
knows himself to be a fool.' The heathen
philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a grape,
would open his lips when he put it into his mouth;
meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and
lips to open. You do love this maid?
WILLIAM: I do, sir.
TOUCHSTONE: Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
WILLIAM: No, sir.
TOUCHSTONE: Then learn this of me: to have, is to have; for it
is a figure in rhetoric that drink, being poured out
of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty
the other; for all your writers do consent that ipse
is he: now, you are not ipse, for I am he.
WILLIAM: Which he, sir?
TOUCHSTONE: He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you
clown, abandon,--which is in the vulgar leave,--the
society,--which in the boorish is company,--of this
female,--which in the common is woman; which
together is, abandon the society of this female, or,
clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better
understanding, diest; or, to wit I kill thee, make
thee away, translate thy life into death, thy
liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with
thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy
with thee in faction; I will o'errun thee with
policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways:
therefore tremble and depart.
AUDREY: Do, good William.
WILLIAM: God rest you merry, sir.
CORIN: Our master and mistress seeks you; come, away, away!
TOUCHSTONE: Trip, Audrey! trip, Audrey! I attend, I attend.
AS YOU LIKE IT