Document: All > Quotations > [W] > Steven Wright
"My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted."
"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect."
"I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the
prescription ran out."
"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included."
"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with
exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I
"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it."
"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"What's another word for Thesaurus?"
"It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always
"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."