Document:  All > Quotations > [R] > Rita Rudner


"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped
in it a few times."



"My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping."



"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."



"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's
office was full of portraits by Picasso."



"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm
paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my
neck that's worth more than my head."



"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."



"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life."



"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all
respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."



"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother 
cleans them."



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