Document:  All > Shakespeare > Histories > King Henry IV, part II > Act V, scene I



	[Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, and Page]

SHALLOW: By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away to-night.
	What, Davy, I say!

FALSTAFF: You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.

SHALLOW: I will not excuse you; you shall not be excused;
	excuses shall not be admitted; there is no excuse
	shall serve; you shall not be excused. Why, Davy!

	[Enter DAVY]

DAVY: Here, sir.

SHALLOW: Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see, Davy; let me
	see, Davy; let me see: yea, marry, William cook,
	bid him come hither. Sir John, you shall not be excused.

DAVY: Marry, sir, thus; those precepts cannot be served:
	and, again, sir, shall we sow the headland with wheat?

SHALLOW: With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook: are
	there no young pigeons?

DAVY: Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing
	and plough-irons.

SHALLOW: Let it be cast and paid. Sir John, you shall not be excused.

DAVY: Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must need be
	had: and, sir, do you mean to stop any of William's
	wages, about the sack he lost the other day at
	Hinckley fair?

SHALLOW: A' shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a couple
	of short-legged hens, a joint of mutton, and any
	pretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William cook.

DAVY: Doth the man of war stay all night, sir?

SHALLOW: Yea, Davy. I will use him well: a friend i' the
	court is better than a penny in purse. Use his men
	well, Davy; for they are arrant knaves, and will backbite.

DAVY: No worse than they are backbitten, sir; for they
	have marvellous foul linen.

SHALLOW: Well conceited, Davy: about thy business, Davy.

DAVY: I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor of
	Woncot against Clement Perkes of the hill.

SHALLOW: There is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor:
	that Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge.

DAVY: I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; but
	yet, God forbid, sir, but a knave should have some
	countenance at his friend's request. An honest
	man, sir, is able to speak for himself, when a knave
	is not. I have served your worship truly, sir,
	this eight years; and if I cannot once or twice in
	a quarter bear out a knave against an honest man, I
	have but a very little credit with your worship. The
	knave is mine honest friend, sir; therefore, I
	beseech your worship, let him be countenanced.

SHALLOW: Go to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look about, Davy.

	[Exit DAVY]

	Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come, off
	with your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.

BARDOLPH: I am glad to see your worship.

SHALLOW: I thank thee with all my heart, kind
	Master Bardolph: and welcome, my tall fellow.

	[To the Page]

	Come, Sir John.

FALSTAFF: I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.

	[Exit SHALLOW]

	Bardolph, look to our horses.

	[Exeunt BARDOLPH and Page]

	If I were sawed into quantities, I should make four
	dozen of such bearded hermits' staves as Master
	Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to see the
	semblable coherence of his men's spirits and his:
	they, by observing of him, do bear themselves like
	foolish justices; he, by conversing with them, is
	turned into a justice-like serving-man: their
	spirits are so married in conjunction with the
	participation of society that they flock together in
	consent, like so many wild-geese. If I had a suit
	to Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the
	imputation of being near their master: if to his
	men, I would curry with Master Shallow that no man
	could better command his servants. It is certain
	that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is
	caught, as men take diseases, one of another:
	therefore let men take heed of their company. I
	will devise matter enough out of this Shallow to
	keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing
	out of six fashions, which is four terms, or two
	actions, and a' shall laugh without intervallums. O,
	it is much that a lie with a slight oath and a jest
	with a sad brow will do with a fellow that never
	had the ache in his shoulders! O, you shall see him
	laugh till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!

SHALLOW: [Within]  Sir John!

FALSTAFF: I come, Master Shallow; I come, Master Shallow.

	[Exit]




	2 KING HENRY IV






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