Document: All > Shakespeare > Comedies > The Tempest > Act III, scene II
Jump to: the first appearance of pied_ninny
[Enter CALIBAN, STEPHANO, and TRINCULO]
STEPHANO: Tell not me; when the butt is out, we will drink
water; not a drop before: therefore bear up, and
board 'em. Servant-monster, drink to me.
TRINCULO: Servant-monster! the folly of this island! They
say there's but five upon this isle: we are three
of them; if th' other two be brained like us, the
STEPHANO: Drink, servant-monster, when I bid thee: thy eyes
are almost set in thy head.
TRINCULO: Where should they be set else? he were a brave
monster indeed, if they were set in his tail.
STEPHANO: My man-monster hath drown'd his tongue in sack:
for my part, the sea cannot drown me; I swam, ere I
could recover the shore, five and thirty leagues off
and on. By this light, thou shalt be my lieutenant,
monster, or my standard.
TRINCULO: Your lieutenant, if you list; he's no standard.
STEPHANO: We'll not run, Monsieur Monster.
TRINCULO: Nor go neither; but you'll lie like dogs and yet say
STEPHANO: Moon-calf, speak once in thy life, if thou beest a
CALIBAN: How does thy honour? Let me lick thy shoe.
I'll not serve him; he's not valiant.
TRINCULO: Thou liest, most ignorant monster: I am in case to
justle a constable. Why, thou deboshed fish thou,
was there ever man a coward that hath drunk so much
sack as I to-day? Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie,
being but half a fish and half a monster?
CALIBAN: Lo, how he mocks me! wilt thou let him, my lord?
TRINCULO: 'Lord' quoth he! That a monster should be such a natural!
CALIBAN: Lo, lo, again! bite him to death, I prithee.
STEPHANO: Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head: if you
prove a mutineer,--the next tree! The poor monster's
my subject and he shall not suffer indignity.
CALIBAN: I thank my noble lord. Wilt thou be pleased to
hearken once again to the suit I made to thee?
STEPHANO: Marry, will I
and so shall Trinculo.
[Enter ARIEL, invisible]
CALIBAN: As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant, a
sorcerer, that by his cunning hath cheated me of the island.
ARIEL: Thou liest.
CALIBAN: Thou liest, thou jesting monkey, thou: I would my
valiant master would destroy thee! I do not lie.
STEPHANO: Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in's tale, by
this hand, I will supplant some of your teeth.
TRINCULO: Why, I said nothing.
STEPHANO: Mum, then, and no more. Proceed.
CALIBAN: I say, by sorcery he got this isle;
From me he got it. if thy greatness will
Revenge it on him,--for I know thou darest,
But this thing dare not,--
STEPHANO: That's most certain.
CALIBAN: Thou shalt be lord of it and I'll serve thee.
STEPHANO: How now shall this be compassed?
Canst thou bring me to the party?
CALIBAN: Yea, yea, my lord: I'll yield him thee asleep,
Where thou mayst knock a nail into his bead.
ARIEL: Thou liest; thou canst not.
CALIBAN: What a pied ninny's this! Thou scurvy patch!
I do beseech thy greatness, give him blows
And take his bottle from him: when that's gone
He shall drink nought but brine; for I'll not show him
Where the quick freshes are.
STEPHANO: Trinculo, run into no further danger:
interrupt the monster one word further, and,
by this hand, I'll turn my mercy out o' doors
and make a stock-fish of thee.
TRINCULO: Why, what did I? I did nothing. I'll go farther
STEPHANO: Didst thou not say he lied?
ARIEL: Thou liest.
STEPHANO: Do I so? take thou that.
As you like this, give me the lie another time.
TRINCULO: I did not give the lie. Out o' your
wits and bearing too? A pox o' your bottle!
this can sack and drinking do. A murrain on
your monster, and the devil take your fingers!
CALIBAN: Ha, ha, ha!
STEPHANO: Now, forward with your tale. Prithee, stand farther
CALIBAN: Beat him enough: after a little time
I'll beat him too.
STEPHANO: Stand farther. Come, proceed.
CALIBAN: Why, as I told thee, 'tis a custom with him,
I' th' afternoon to sleep: there thou mayst brain him,
Having first seized his books, or with a log
Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake,
Or cut his wezand with thy knife. Remember
First to possess his books; for without them
He's but a sot, as I am, nor hath not
One spirit to command: they all do hate him
As rootedly as I. Burn but his books.
He has brave utensils,--for so he calls them--
Which when he has a house, he'll deck withal
And that most deeply to consider is
The beauty of his daughter; he himself
Calls her a nonpareil: I never saw a woman,
But only Sycorax my dam and she;
But she as far surpasseth Sycorax
As great'st does least.
STEPHANO: Is it so brave a lass?
CALIBAN: Ay, lord; she will become thy bed, I warrant.
And bring thee forth brave brood.
STEPHANO: Monster, I will kill this man: his daughter and I
will be king and queen--save our graces!--and
Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys. Dost thou
like the plot, Trinculo?
STEPHANO: Give me thy hand: I am sorry I beat thee; but,
while thou livest, keep a good tongue in thy head.
CALIBAN: Within this half hour will he be asleep:
Wilt thou destroy him then?
STEPHANO: Ay, on mine honour.
ARIEL: This will I tell my master.
CALIBAN: Thou makest me merry; I am full of pleasure:
Let us be jocund: will you troll the catch
You taught me but while-ere?
STEPHANO: At thy request, monster, I will do reason, any
reason. Come on, Trinculo, let us sing.
Flout 'em and scout 'em
And scout 'em and flout 'em
Thought is free.
CALIBAN: That's not the tune.
[Ariel plays the tune on a tabour and pipe]
STEPHANO: What is this same?
TRINCULO: This is the tune of our catch, played by the picture
STEPHANO: If thou beest a man, show thyself in thy likeness:
if thou beest a devil, take't as thou list.
TRINCULO: O, forgive me my sins!
STEPHANO: He that dies pays all debts: I defy thee. Mercy upon us!
CALIBAN: Art thou afeard?
STEPHANO: No, monster, not I.
CALIBAN: Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices
That, if I then had waked after long sleep,
Will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming,
The clouds methought would open and show riches
Ready to drop upon me that, when I waked,
I cried to dream again.
STEPHANO: This will prove a brave kingdom to me, where I shall
have my music for nothing.
CALIBAN: When Prospero is destroyed.
STEPHANO: That shall be by and by: I remember the story.
TRINCULO: The sound is going away; let's follow it, and
after do our work.
STEPHANO: Lead, monster; we'll follow. I would I could see
this tabourer; he lays it on.
TRINCULO: Wilt come? I'll follow, Stephano.