Document:  All > Shakespeare > Comedies > The Comedy of Errors > Act IV, scene IV



	[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and the Officer]

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Fear me not, man; I will not break away:
	I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
	To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
	My wife is in a wayward mood to-day,
	And will not lightly trust the messenger
	That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
	I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.

	[Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope's-end]

	Here comes my man; I think he brings the money.
	How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: But where's the money?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: To a rope's-end, sir; and to that end am I returned.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.

	[Beating him]

Officer: Good sir, be patient.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.

Officer: Good, now, hold thy tongue.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Thou whoreson, senseless villain!

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel
	your blows.

ANTIPHOLUS: Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an
	ass.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long
	ears. I have served him from the hour of my
	nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his
	hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he
	heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me
	with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep;
	raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with
	it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when
	I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a
	beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath
	lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.

	[Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the Courtezan, and PINCH]

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end; or
	rather, the prophecy like the parrot, 'beware the
	rope's-end.'

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Wilt thou still talk?

	[Beating him]

Courtezan: How say you now? is not your husband mad?

ADRIANA: His incivility confirms no less.
	Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
	Establish him in his true sense again,
	And I will please you what you will demand.

LUCIANA: Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!

Courtezan: Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy!

PINCH: Give me your hand and let me feel your pulse.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.

	[Striking him]

PINCH: I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,
	To yield possession to my holy prayers
	And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:
	I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven!

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad.

ADRIANA: O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: You minion, you, are these your customers?
	Did this companion with the saffron face
	Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
	Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut
	And I denied to enter in my house?

ADRIANA: O husband, God doth know you dined at home;
	Where would you had remain'd until this time,
	Free from these slanders and this open shame!

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Dined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut out?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Perdie, your doors were lock'd and you shut out.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: And did not she herself revile me there?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Sans fable, she herself reviled you there.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: And did not I in rage depart from thence?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: In verity you did; my bones bear witness,
	That since have felt the vigour of his rage.

ADRIANA: Is't good to soothe him in these contraries?

PINCH: It is no shame: the fellow finds his vein,
	And yielding to him humours well his frenzy.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me.

ADRIANA: Alas, I sent you money to redeem you,
	By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Money by me! heart and goodwill you might;
	But surely master, not a rag of money.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?

ADRIANA: He came to me and I deliver'd it.

LUCIANA: And I am witness with her that she did.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: God and the rope-maker bear me witness
	That I was sent for nothing but a rope!

PINCH: Mistress, both man and master is possess'd;
	I know it by their pale and deadly looks:
	They must be bound and laid in some dark room.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day?
	And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?

ADRIANA: I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: And, gentle master, I received no gold;
	But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out.

ADRIANA: Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;
	And art confederate with a damned pack
	To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
	But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes
	That would behold in me this shameful sport.

	[Enter three or four, and offer to bind him.
	He strives]

ADRIANA: O, bind him, bind him! let him not come near me.

PINCH: More company! The fiend is strong within him.

LUCIANA: Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,
	I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them
	To make a rescue?

Officer:                   Masters, let him go
	He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.

PINCH: Go bind this man, for he is frantic too.

	[They offer to bind Dromio of Ephesus]

ADRIANA: What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
	Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
	Do outrage and displeasure to himself?

Officer: He is my prisoner: if I let him go,
	The debt he owes will be required of me.

ADRIANA: I will discharge thee ere I go from thee:
	Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
	And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
	Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd
	Home to my house. O most unhappy day!

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: O most unhappy strumpet!

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Master, I am here entered in bond for you.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS: Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS: Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master:
	cry 'The devil!'

LUCIANA: God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!

ADRIANA: Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me.

	[Exeunt all but Adriana, Luciana, Officer and
	Courtezan]

	Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?

Officer: One Angelo, a goldsmith: do you know him?

ADRIANA: I know the man. What is the sum he owes?

Officer: Two hundred ducats.

ADRIANA: Say, how grows it due?

Officer: Due for a chain your husband had of him.

ADRIANA: He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.

Courtezan: When as your husband all in rage to-day
	Came to my house and took away my ring--
	The ring I saw upon his finger now--
	Straight after did I meet him with a chain.

ADRIANA: It may be so, but I did never see it.
	Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is:
	I long to know the truth hereof at large.

	[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse with his rapier drawn,
	and DROMIO of Syracuse]

LUCIANA: God, for thy mercy! they are loose again.

ADRIANA: And come with naked swords.
	Let's call more help to have them bound again.

Officer: Away! they'll kill us.

	[Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio
	of Syracuse]

ANTIPHOLUS
OF SYRACUSE: I see these witches are afraid of swords.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: She that would be your wife now ran from you.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF SYRACUSE: Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:
	I long that we were safe and sound aboard.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE: Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us
	no harm: you saw they speak us fair, give us gold:
	methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for
	the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of
	me, I could find in my heart to stay here still and
	turn witch.

ANTIPHOLUS
OF SYRACUSE: I will not stay to-night for all the town;
	Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard.

	[Exeunt]




	THE COMEDY OF ERRORS






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